Old Trials Riders by Tommie Moore ~~ 1972
OLD TRIALS RIDERS NEVER DIE
....they just smell that way
Trials riding is a unique form of motorized self-abuse, demanding a combination of strength, agility, endurance and skill.
Amazingly though, if you take a look around the riders meeting at a trial, you'll find all manner of middle-aged riders obviously lacking in three or four (maybe even five) of those vital qualities, yet they keep riding.
It has become obvious, therefore, that long-term exposure to riding trials must gradually diminish the reasoning ability of riders, until one day they slip into a condition known by the scientific name cantus stopridingus or literally translated, "old geezerism."
The process is insidious, and extensive field observations have established that most riders can't recognize the warning signs in themselves except after repeated encounter sessions with trees and rocks.
Are you becoming a trials-riding old geezer? To shorten the painful period of realization, we've assembled the following quick reference guide of symptoms to help you decide if you're past your prime as a trials rider.
You know you're an old-geezer if:
-You are automatically pre-entered in the Senior Class.
Man those guys must be getting old......
... compiled by T. Moore circa sometime in the seventies.